See the improved version of a story by Wasiullah Khan of class O' Levels at PakTurk School Islamabad. Not just comments, I've made up my mind to rewrite some of the stories so to show my students improved versions of their writings which will soon be published in book form. Wasi is intelligent and respectful; smiles beautifully that makes you like him immediately. Currently, he's working hard to improve his grades before he appears in his Cambridge Exams which are around the corner.

But before I could pick up the phone, it stopped ringing…

I peered out the window and saw that the whole neighborhood was covered in a blanket of snow. Snow flakes fell slowly from the sky and childrens were seen gathering the snowballs in an arsenal which indicated that they were getting ready for battle as this was now a battlefield. I had a severe headache for which I took some painkillers to ease the pain. I slowly approached the kitchen to make myself some hot chocolate when I got a call from my friend Jenna. Before I could pick up the phone the call had ended. I kept trying to reach her through the phone but no luck as the reception was really bad. My devils' workshop was indicting that something might have happened to her. As her only friend, it was my job to make sure she was safe.

When I peered out the window, I saw that the whole neighborhood was covered in a blanket of snow. White flakes fell slowly from the sky and children gathered snowballs in a great arsenal—they were getting ready for battle.

I didn't stay at the window long; I had a severe headache and the painkillers I’d taken earlier weren't kicking in. I slowly approached the kitchen to make myself some hot chocolate when I heard the phone ringing. The caller ID showed me it was from my friend Jenna. But before I could pick up the phone, it stopped ringing. I called back, but had no luck reaching her, since the reception was really bad. I feared something might have happened to her. As her only friend, it was my job to make sure she was safe.

Jenna lived 2 blocks from my home. I took my car keys and headed towards the car but to my luck the car's battery had died. Walking was the only option. As soon as I took one step out of the house, the little rascals who were snow fighting now showered snowballs at me. Struggling through the showers of snowballs I managed to escape.

Jenna lived two blocks from my home. Fetching my car keys, I headed towards the car in the garage, but when I tried to start it, I found the car's battery had died. This day just couldn’t get any worse!

Walking was the only option now. As soon as I took one step out of the house, the little rascals who were fighting in the snow began to shower me with snowballs. Struggling through their projectiles, I managed to escape.

I was at Jenna's doorstep and rang the bell. "Oh hi John, what brings you to my humble abode?" She said after opening the door "You called me, remember?" Replying her in a surprising manner. "I accidentally dialed your number instead of my sister Jane"

I finally arrived at Jenna's doorstep and rang the bell.

She answered the door, looking surprised. "Oh, hi John, what brings you to my humble abode?"

"You called me, remember?" I replied.

"Oh. I accidentally dialed your number instead of my sister Jane. Everything is fine."

At that moment, the thought crossed my mind to gather snow and throw a snowball at her. Instead, I smiled a very wide smile, then went home to have my hot chocolate. It turned out that the fresh air was exactly the remedy I needed: my headache was now gone.

Wasiullah Khan
O' levels Final Year
PakTurk International School Islamabad